I swear this is true.
I took my normal Sunday walk today, heading to Blockbuster to return a couple of DVDs (Airplane! and the Futurama movie, if you must know). When I got there, there was a group of three ten-or-so-year-olds, skateboarding in front of the deposit slot. I thought to myself, “Damn punks,” (guess I'm getting older) and tried to dodge them to return my movies. As I was reaching into my bag to get the DVDs, one of the kids walked up to me, and we had this exchange:
Him: “Can I have a dollar?”
Him: “Come on, don't be so parsimonious.”
Me: *pauses* “Nice word.”
His friend: “Wait, do you even know what that means?”
At which point I was already walking away, so I missed the rest. It was enough to walk away thinking, “Did a ten-year-old really call me parsimonious? How do I even respond to that, without slapping him?”
Truly, I would have been less surprised to wake up as a cockroach.
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